Things I forgot I loved

Posted on January 29, 2018

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    1. Sitting quietly alone at home. It’s not that quiet– I can still hear cars driving past. Sometimes, the annoying noise of the neighbour’s generator, birds chirping too loudly, and if I’m unlucky, the church next door. But the times when I can tamper down the noise, I love to be able to sit and just do nothing.
    2. Hope. I listened to a podcast in which the interviewer described hope as the space between the worst case scenario and the best case scenario. This year, one of the things I’m working on is being better with not knowing. I’m opening up to embracing uncertainty not in the bad anxious way but in the way that realizes that anything could happen and that’s OK.
    3. Cooking in the mornings. Maybe I have been waking up starving the last few weeks but I’m really enjoying waking up to cook. Most days it’s nothing elaborate, I could just be cutting up fruits and making salads. Other days, I make a huge pot. I’ve made Zobo recently; for the first time. As I was washing the Zobo leaves and the red colour seeped through my fingers, I realized that I relished this time alone in the kitchen, listening to music through my earphones and singing along or even dancing. A beautiful meal or a home-brewed drink or an experimental cup of tea is a wonderful creation to begin your day. And of course, you are guaranteed not to starve if you already cooked a huge pot. I’m grateful that I get to work from home so I can do this often.
    4. Sexting. I used to see things like sexting or phone sex as chores but my views are changing. I’m still iffy about phone sex and honestly still think, hey, why don’t we both hang up, touch ourselves, take a nap and then revert with the results. In the last few weeks, I have been exchanging texts with my special person and I have a new appreciation for sexts. I think it’s because the messages are infused with her unique humour. I also think it’s incredibly sexy when I’m getting asked for permission when she describes scenarios. I’m not just being told what is going to be done. Even in fantasy world, I get to say yes, you may touch me like this or like that.
    5. Planning surprises. I planned a surprise dinner for my special person. She had just returned from a long trip and we had planned to go out because she was leaving again in a few days. We both had a packed schedule for those days and I adored that she was carving out time to go on a date. I appreciated that so much because I never want to interact with anyone after a trip. I’m usually shattered. With help from a solid gold friend, I planned a four-course dinner at home. My gracious friend suggested that she would be our “waiter”. It was hilarious. She wore a name tag on a black shirt with a bow-tie. The food tasted great. And the look on my special person’s face when she opened the door and saw the candles and heard my specially curated mood music for the night was priceless.
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