Ruby Tuesdays is Great Fun but You Could Pay Dearly The Next Day If You’re Employed…Unless You’re a Champion Like Me;p

Posted on February 29, 2012


I was going to blog about the Autostraddle London meet up at Ku Bar on Feb 28th but I never made it. I did however experience my first Ruby Tuesday. Here’s a timeline of the night.

20:00 I’m just about finishing work but the AS meet up is scheduled for 20:30. I’m still feeling confident that I might be able to make it.

20:30 I’m still at home. Ready to go but my cronies aren’t ready yet. It seems that they’re operating on a different time zone.

21:30 Finally at Leicester Square but I haven’t had dinner so we decide to grab a bite at a Korean noodle bar. Its called “Corean Chilli”.

22:10ish Finally in Ku bar. Have clearly missed the AS ladies so we go downstairs to experience Ruby Tuesdays for the first time for me.

22:10ish Surveying the living-room sized dancefloor. Low ceiling..check, too many women in the same space…check, ethnic diversity…check, gender presentation diversity…check, solo older woman grinning and bobbing head to cheesy brit pop…check and black girl wearing bandana and basketball jersey like she’s in a TLC video from ’94…check.

22:15ish We head to the bar for drinks.  Cronie 1 buys me a beer and it turns out to be warm eugh! I take the beer, start drinking it and I start trying to ‘act cool’.

22:25ish Cronie 1 has already downed her first plastic cup of rum and coke so I drop my act of ‘coolness’ and begin to stuff my bottle of Sol with bits of her left over ice.

23:00ish We’ve gravitated towards the back corner of the dance floor. There’s an Amber Rose look alike on stage. There’s also a boi next to her and I predict the two of them want to get down but right now a whole load of fronting is going on

23:00ish Spotted: two white girls sitting in the corner making out slowly and reasonably(if there’s such a thing)

23:10ish My cronies and I are slowly beginning to mingle with the crowd around us. There’s a crew with an Italian chick who every boi has been trying to grind on. Cronie 1 actually picked her off the floor, and wedged her up against the wall while grinding up against her to a song I don’t remember. It gave me a great big laugh to see my cronie acting such a fool!

23:20ish Spotted: the same two white girls sitting in the corner making out at a slightly hastened pace.

23:30ish A friend from high school comes over to say hey. She introduces her friend and girlfriend. She mentions that she reads Dykeroad..Shout out to you friend from High School!

00:00ish We are still in this damn club, the running man had been performed to “I got the power”, we’ve done the macarena to a non-macanarena adequate song, we’ve jumped up and down to Britney’s “Till the world ends” and to some of Riri and Beyonce’s tunes, and also to  Flo Rida & Sia’s “Wild Ones”.

00:10ish The bois are still excited over Italian Chick, my prediction over Amber Rose and friend fulfils itself. They are finally beginning to dance.

00:10ish Spotted: Same two white girls sitting in the corner now making out like there’s no tomorrow!

00:30ish We are still in the club! Cronie 1 has class in the morning and I have work at 9am yet we walk to the bar for more drinks. Cronie 1 foolishly buys a bottle of Moet. I tell her that if I ever buy her champagne, it will be from Sainsbury’s no, actually ASDA and I’ll make sure its ASDA’s own brand.

01:30ish The weakling in me sits down for a breather next to Cronie 2. We introduce ourselves to an East African lady with amazing hair. We all quickly become best buddies and are saying cheese to a camera soon after.

01:30ish Spotted: very cute couple in the corner. They must be about 16 and not legal but they are both making each other laugh and its adorable to watch.

01:45ish I end my tenure as club BFF and go dance with Italian Chick. We are doing my combo of swing dancing and salsa(it makes no sense but I love it) no grinding. Italian Chick says I remind her friend from New York. I smile and say we all need to hang out again.

02:00ish We decide to get our coats and leave. We have a slight battle with cloak guy as we weren’t given a tag and because he wasn’t the one one duty he won’t give us our coats. I go get the manager and we get the coats. Azelia Banks’ “212” is playing/

02:20ish Miss Left-eye representer is puking her guts out on the street. She is being comforted by Italian Chick. I get her a bottle of water from the bouncer. Cronie 1 decides that she feels an obligation to get her home safe. We try to ask for her address and she is incomprehensible.

02:30ish While Cronie 1 handles Miss Left-eye representer, Cronie 2 and I suggest to Italian Chick and her very cool friend Krystle Meth that we can all get a cab together.

02:45 I’m standing far removed from the drunken battles between Cronie 1 and Miss Left-eye represented. I’ve already been given a taster of Krystle Meth’s amazing song (*coming in a blog post to you soon, yes ladies, I made sure to get a business card off her*)

02:50ish It turns out that Miss Left-eye did not want any help getting home and has run off! We walk Italian Chick to her bus and wait for it with her. Cronie 1 gets a number. I get a facebook name.

03:30ish We are finally home and ready for bed…(well, I am crashing with my homies tonight). I figure I can get some shut eye, get up at 7, run home, shower, grab my things for work and head out.

06:30 I have not managed to catch a wink of sleep.

07:00 My alarm goes off and I’m tempted to snooze but there’s no point. I get up get dressed and hit the road.

07:59 I’m home

09:00 I made it to my work presentation early!

13:40 I successfully complete one work task

14:00 I feel like death!

16:00 I hint at my bosses that I would like to leave as soon as my time is up

18:30 I am just leaving work

19:30 I get home and my roomie is in her running gear ready to go on our run as planned. I curse like a motherfucker beneath my breath

20:00 I finally get my ass onto the street and we do a half hour jog. Its shorter than usual but I feel like a champion on the final lap.

22:00 I get out my computer and start writing this ish

22:20 I send Italian Chick a facebook request and she replies, we start messaging. Her name is Olive Oyl and she writes the first food blog I’ve ever read. Still breezing through it at and it looks absolufuckinglutelyawesome!


End Note: We love actually do love TLC Circa ’94 and we hope you got home OK babes. xx

Posted in: Reviews